Internal conflicts and vulnerable communication between partners are common problems, moreover usual complaints in Glendale CA. That is why most couples turn to professional relationship counseling therapists for help. You have the most incredible time together and make each other laugh. There is passion – great alchemy. However, in short, when things turn serious your partner and starts acting unearthly. They go somewhere far away from home with friends and don’t call or return your calls.
Perhaps they start talking dedication first, wondering what it would be like when you move in together, lending you their key or drawer. Nevertheless, as you came up with the idea of getting serious, they pulled out quickly. Perhaps this the way of how folks have a dry run together – hot and cold, up and down. If this is the case, and you can no longer resist, or you’re tired of trying, call a marriage counseling therapist who understands the dynamics between partners.
Whether you’re of the extrovert or introvert type of personality, there will come a point in the debate when your brain will stop working. That’s how human beings are designed to react! The majority of couples know how to argue, express their frustration and fight fair in a manner that works. That is the way they feel relief and connection again.
Where did you start getting it all wrong?
Phrases such as “You never…You said… You always… You should have… Why didn’t you…” come across as criticism or accusal. They automatically put your beloved on the defensive where instead of working out things, you could end up fighting. It typically doesn’t solve the problem, and finding a resolution doesn’t make it easy either. Most probably you will start disputing about the last things that have pissed you both off.
What is the effective way and language?
First you need to confess and lay down your feelings on the table. This will put an emotional feature on the entire conversation. You may say sentences like: “I am feeling… here you may say sad, frustrated, swept over, stressed… and I need your help”. The next sentence should express something doable and specific. “Would you… here you will want to talk about certain actions like: bring some cheese and a bottle of milk on your way home?”
What are the pitfalls?
Do not fall into a trap by saying things that are nearly the same or a variation of the phrases that create trouble. This could be “I feel like you’re always… not, never…”. Likewise, don’t say expressions like “and… I need you to stop acting like an egocentric or being so selfish… unthinking… needy…!”.
The hardest thing for partners when learning how to communicate thoughtfully is the practicing stage. These are old, proven and deep-rooted patterns. There are typically fundamental fears or hurts that fire continuing fights or frigid silences, so bad you can taste it. You should never give up! Keep on practicing new ways and methods of communication that aren’t critical, shaming or accusing. It could take a while for your partner to hear what you are saying. Don’t hesitate to ask a qualified marriage counseling therapist like Glendale Therapy & Associates in Glendale CA for a helping hand.